Final post

So, this is my final post now. And as required, I´ll reflect my blogging experience once again.

In the beginning of the school year (or our project ”Blog”) I thought “What the heck, do I really have to do that?”. I couldn´t think of anything to blog about. And even today after 6 months of blogging and 43 post, it´s still kind of hard for me to come up with something meaningfully to blog about. I always tried to not just write some stuff to meat the requirement and be done. I wanted to write something people would actually enjoy reading. If I would have to give myself a grade, I´d fail. I tried but my blogs are overall not very interesting. It was hard for me to find something to write about without giving too many information about myself. Because I still don´t really like the thought that my opinion is out there in the internet and if there was some creeper, who would read all my posts and do some research, they would know quite a bit about me. I guess I am old school with that, but I´m not happy with the general idea of that.

Well, in the end it turned out that my post aren´t interesting enough for anyone to read anyway and I am more than perfectly fine with that.

I also thought in the beginning that no one else would have anything interesting to write about in my class. That everyone would just write their typical teenage stuff, which would bore everyone to the end. But I have to admit, I was totally wrong with that. There are some blogs like that out there, but the majority is really great! Kids have something to say. The bad thing for me personally was just, that I realized how poor my own blog is, when I read some other students posts.

I don´t think that I will keep blogging, but over all and in the end I think it was a good experience and definitely something different and (sometimes) fun.

Post in German

Okay, once again it’s Thursday, which means it’s blogging timeJ. I always wanted to do this and I hope that my Mr. Teacher is fine with that. I’ll go and blog in German!
Partly because no one can understand it, which means that the quality of my blog does not have to be that great (which is not a factor anymore since my blogs are decreasing in quality so bad, that it is I am just ashamed if I read other students blogs. By the way; Good job everyone!!! Really, I thought in the beginning that the whole blooging thing is a bad idea, but it turns out that I was wrong. I read a couple blogs of other kids and am truly surprised; most of them do have to say something, something interesting. It appears to me that I am one of the few who seem to have fairly extreme boring blogs. But like I said earlier, I don’t want to put the effort into it anymore, I just want to get done with it. Sorry.).

Okay, back to topic: I’ll start blooging in German now:

Also, erstmal muss ich sagen, dass es schon komisch ist wieder mal deutsch zu schreiben, aber auch cool. Ich freg mich ob irgendjemend das hier irgendwann mal lessen wird. Wahrscheinlich nicht. Ich mach das ja auch nur aus langerweile aus. Ja ich weiss, ich bin schon sehr deprimiert.
Also ich habe nur noch 8 Schultage, bevor mein kleines High School Leben hier zu ende ist. Schon ein komisches Gefuehl. Ich muss schon sagen, im Allgemeinen war mein jahr hier schon echt spitze, aber ich freu mich auch schon wieder nach Hause zu kommen. Meine Weissheitszaehne gezogen zu bekommen und mal wieder Brot zu Fruehstueck zu essen. Fahhrrad fahren und nach Mitternacht nach Hause kommen. Klingt doch wie ein schoenes Leben, oder nicht?

Und natuerlich freue ich mich schon darauf bald wieder alle meine Freunde zu sehen, denn ich hab doch schon so langsam die Schnautze voll, von all den Leuten in meinen klassen. Ich bin -und werde auch immer bleiden- ein Anti-Kid.
Ich glaube, das ist es nun, mein Eintrag auf deutsch. Ich werd jetzt den Rest der Stunde nutzten und fuer Stipendien nach Frankreich gucken.

Loosing? Gaining weight

Summer comes and with the warm weather the wish to look better comes as well. I mean the wish to loose weight in particular.
Before I came to the US everyone made fun of me gaining weight. I was never a very skinny person but with luck my weight was always average. And I actually never cared, if there are 5 pieces of pie and I want to eat them, then I do. My family knows this habit of mine and thought that I would gain so much that I’d be hard to recognize after a couple of months. Isn’t that wonderful loving family?
But I never minded their saying, I was actually more their opinion, even though I thought betting about my weight was a little too much.
Well, it turned out that I actually didn’t gain that much weight. Maybe 2 pounds. I gained some fed and lost some muscle, but overall I’m very surprised. Of course my family still says that I look a bit chunkier, but how do they know, they just saw pictures and even if they would never admit to be wrong.
But why didn’t I gain weight? I think I just got lucky with the people I live here. I NEVER go to any fast food restaurant. I eat fruit salad.
Now so close to the end I realized something else. The worry to gain a ton of weight in the back of my mind prevented me of gaining weight. But didn’t I totally miss the American food culture then? Eating dinner at home every single night is not very American. And I realized that this was my lifetime opportunity to eat as much fast food as I wanted. To try out new things. I had one Dr. Peppers, went to Wendy’s, McDonald’s and KFC once in 10 months. I never ate lunch outside the cafeteria (okay, cafeteria food might be unhealthy enough).
So, now it the last weeks I kind of try to catch up on unhealthy food, but I think I am just too much gourmet to really enjoy fast food. Anyway, I definitely don’t swerve around it anymore, everyone clear in mind tries to loose weight at this time of the year and I just to the oppositeJ.

Why do we live?

I think every one has at some point in their life this thought of feeling pointless. I mean why are we doing all this?
Why do we study, clean the house, if everything is just temporary. I mean we are actually just ants in the universe, so tiny that even the word tiny is still too big. We are born; we go to school, eventually college, work, have a couple children, marry, maybe divorce, work a little more and die.
Are we doing all of this just for the weekend, for the 20 days vacation? So that we can do something fun then, something that makes our existence valuable?
I personally feel that if you have something you’re pretty good at, then it might be worth it, but what if you’re just average? Average everything, average grades, average talent, average entrepreneurship, just average. Isn’t it extremely depressing to think that you’ll leave the world and everyone will forget about your existence in a few decades?

I am young so that’s my excuse of thinking so deeply, but I think that everyone feels pointless sometimes. I just hope that everyone has a person who matters to them. That’s what I found out for myself, you don’t live just for yourself, you live for another person, a person who cares for you.
Maybe there’s even THE person out there somewhere. But that is a whole other story; I don’t want to get into.

Mother`s Day

Today is Mother`s Day and I just think that this is a very unnecessary holiday. I think it is just there so that businesses can make more money then all of this is supposed to lead people to spend more money on some stupid “I love you mom”- gifts.

Anyway, if you need a special day to thank your mom, to do something special for her, then you should better not do it in the beginning. I mean if you really love your mom and want to thank her for what she is doing on a day to day basis, then you should do it on a random day. Wouldn´t that mean much more to her , since you realized what she is doing for you WHITHOUT a calendar telling you that it is time to thank your mother.

School, waiting or me

I have to go back to Germany and finish my basic school education which will take two more years, so I’ll be almost old before I even go to college. The thought that I will have to go to school again in Germany is actually the main point why I really don’t want to go back (I don’t tell that my family, they still think I can’t wait to get back, I just didn’t want to hurt their feelings, if you can understand maybe).
Two more years just seems so endless long to me right now. I am a little spoiled since I just took more or less enjoyable and fun classes over here. But this will have an end pretty soon. I am actually really scared that I don’t make it. School in Germany is a lot harder and I just missed a school year, which means there is tons of make-up work waiting for me over the summer. And I will have to take classes I don’t like and I suck at again something like Chemistry.

It’s weird to think that I could just go to college here now, but in Germany I need two more years of “High School” if you want to call it that. I was even thinking about doing that but than the smarter half of my brain told me that it is just way too expensive here and I could get it for free if I wait a little more. And most things I could do here are not going to be recognized in Germany, which means I would have to stay in the US then. Not cool.

So I’ll go back to Germany and finish school. Period. End of the discussion. My dream kind of would be just going to France next year for a year to improve my French and get to know their culture a little better, but I thing that has to wait until college. And after France South America is waiting on my list J.

Another party

Today is el Cinco de Mayo. I did not even know about it till a couple of days ago and I just learned today what you celebrate at that day. On may 5th (cinco de Mayo) 1862 the Mexicans (strongly outnumbered 2000 to 6000 against the strongest army of the world at that time) defeated the French who tried to invade their country, because Mexico could not pay their debts back in time. So the super brave Mexicans fought for their land, their country and their love (okay the last part was added by me) and won! This all was in the city of Puebla.
Anyway it is a nice story and a good reason to celebrate. Especially for me since we had once again a little fiesta in Spanish Class with cookie, brownies and tons of chips (yes, I know, this is very Mexican).

This all made me realize how many little celebrations there are in the US. Of course since everyone comes from another country or culture and the American are people very nice, we just celebrate all holidays from all over the world. I think it’s nice since I get to eat cookies in Spanish Class on St. Patricks Day, El Dia de losMuertos (Day of the Death), Earth Day, … as you can see there is always something to celebrate J!
And there are a lot of days I’ve not even heard about and I like to learn what other cultures celebrate and why!

Blogging

I know I addressed this now several times, but I am just going to do it again. Today is May Day which means that my last month here starts. Or my last real month, I’ll still be here in the beginning of June, but just not in Iowa anymore.
It feels weird and I want to do so many things that I feel like I wasted my time before. No I didn’t waste it, but anyway:

It feels just wrong to me to have to spend my time blogging. I know that I am just complaining and that writing 700 words a week is not too much for an LA class, but still. I wanted to have a good blog, a blog where I actually would say something, something people 9or at least some) would enjoy reading about. Ha! Maybe I dreamed too high in the beginning but I think that’s what you’re supposed to do or not? I mean if you not even dream high how should you ever get high? (Funny, funny, two meanings.) But back to topic:
I don’t want to spend my time blogging, when I can to sooo many other thinks. Things I really want to do.

I not even know why I am doing this. I mean my grades don’t count here, so don’t I just do enough to not fail?! I tell myself that I do it, so that I don’t have to tale finals (I’m considering skipping those), but I know that it is because I just want to do well for myself. I know teachers and parents say that this is a wonderful character quality, but all kids get it right away. It is kind of dump.

So anyway dear Mr. Teacher, I will keep blogging, even though the quality of my blogs is decreasing significantly. If anyone ever reads this, I wonder what you do with your free time. Go and take your dog for a walk! Use your time!

School Lunch

School lunch. It’s really kind of funny, but in the beginning I thought it was the most disgusting thing ever. Especially the mashed potatoes. It’s just so faked and didn’t appear healthy to me at all. I was even considering to bring my own lunch, but I’m just too lazy to prepare food everyday. I tried out different foot lines at our school, but in the end I got stuck with main line.
Partly because after eating just a burger, I was just as hungry as before and buying chips is not what I consider lunch. And Main Line is supposed to be The healthy line. That more or less just means that you can buy an apple, pieces of melon or strawberry with your meal (I really like that part).
I can say now (after almost one whole school year) I like the food here now. In the beginning pepperoni sub just tasted faked and unhealthy but I Americanized enough to really like it. Isn’t that weird?
I am pretty sure that school food also helped me gain weight, but I nor even care about that anymore.
Another of the latest developments in our cafeteria is that they stopped serving juice. WHY??? I really don’t know why. So now you can just buy milk (which tastes horrible and I don’t like to drink milk with a meal. I doubt anyway that that is actually real milk from real cows). Nice, that means I can spend my money now on buying water.

Midged

Okay I saw this youtube video about guy from idea who is lifting weights. That doesn’t sound all that exciting, but this 21 year old man is just 2 feet tall. He is smaller that midget!!! His bodyweight is 20 pounds!!!

I couldn’t believe it at first, he just looks tiny. But hey: He can lift 10 pounds!!! Which sounds like nothing but it’s half his weight, and who can do that?

And he seemed very happy. It just kind of stinks that he can’t go anywhere alone. I mean if you’re that short, no one would see you if you try to cross the road. It is just to dangerous, but he is also normal so it must stink to hang out with your parents all the time.

I just thought that it is inspiring how much life energy such a small person can have. He has for sure a much harder life than everyone else, who is ever going to read this.
So if he can handle his shortness than we should be able to handle our problems.

Freedom

FR EEEDOM

How can it be that I am in the country of freedom but miss it????!?
This is actually one of the only things I’m really looking forward to, when I am going back to Germany. Doing what I (just I) want to do. It’s not that I don’t have to do anything in Germany but …. It’s hard to explain … it’s just different.
I was just raised with having all freedom I wanted and it worked out fine. I would say that I turned out alright. I get good grades, have friends and even some sort of social awareness (if that makes any sense).

Okay, my host family here is really nice and they are not too strict. It’s just that every little bit of not having is really weird to me. Something like “you better don’t hang out with friend if you’re sick” I know that this is probably the right thing to do, it’s just that I always could make my own choices.
It is very good that they understand me though and try to be as loose as they can. But in general kids here don’t even thing about doing more on their own (not everybody but most), like going alone with just friends on vacation. They don’t think about that but everybody is working (something German kids don’t to that much, we’re more spoiled).

I think nearly all exchange students have this little problem. But one thing is sure, I definitely learned through this experience how valuable personal freedom is.
And the whole issue doesn’t bother me that much that I don’t enjoy it here. Because I do.

Reservation Blues

For a project in La class I have to read a book. It might sound a little nerdy, but I'm actually kind of glad that I have to. i jut to read a lot and even considered posting about books in the beginning. but then since Christmas or something I really didn't read anymore at all. So coming to my point: I am reading Reservation Blues by Sherman Alexie. It starts out with Robert Johnson (a famous blues musician) walking with his guitar on an indian reservation. This made me read the book. Something starting out with Robert Johnson and supposedly talking about blues music and Indian (American-Indians) can not be that bad.

And it's not. I really dig it actually and strongly recommend the book. My teacher ranked middle hard to read but I think it's not hard to read at all, just challenging enough to not be boring.

The book is more about an Indian band first covering songs (I would say it plays in the 90’s) but later writing their own little blues and/or rock pieces. It is not like every normal book about some rock band getting famous, it’s much more than that since Sherman Alexie puts this Indian lifestyle, their problems and their view of the world in it.
This made me laugh a couple of times. I am not a professional about Indians but just some descriptions are just so hilarious!

So definitely a book you should read! Just 300 pages which makes it an easy book to read in between. This is the link to the official Sherman Alexie web http://www.fallsapart.com/resblues.html

I loooooove Germany! (Sarcasm)

As you may or may not have noticed I mention it quite a lot that I love my home country and that it is the best anyway.

I did not really notice not some people seem to be affected by that until a friend told me the other day. So I really want to clarify this: Yes, I do like my country, but I mean it more as a joke. I´m being sarcastic (I know this is the hard part to understand).

I think it just seemed to me as natural that I would mean it as a joke, but I forget sometimes that most people here didn´t grow up in an environment where you have no national proud at all. This may seem weird to you but most European and especially Germans are not proud of their country like Americans. And if then there are most likely not going to show it the way I did (in saying Germany is the best). If this is the case I would definitely double check that it is really meant that way.

I never meant to make fun of the US, because it is a recession or even depression. Germany is too and one thing is for sure Germany is not the place of heaven and if it was I would never have come over here.

So please keep in mind: I am being sarcastic a lot (even if you see no sense just take it as what it is).