February?!

It's already February and I really can't believe it. Maybe I like winter so much, because I have to leave in the end of spring. It's still about 4 more months, but I feel like it's nothing and everything about late spring (for example prom) makes me freak out and I really try not to think about it.
I fell sorry for my family, because they think that I don't want to go home, which is just partly true. I just feel like my year here just started and I wasted the first half of it. I wish I could just turn the time back and start all over again.

When I was in Germany (back in the day) I went to a couple of preparation meetings from my organization and they tried to give you all the advises for a successful year abroad. Anyway, they talked a lot of nonsense but a few things they said are really true.

They told me for example that a lot of kids really get homesick after Homecoming (kind of true) and especially bad in January. That was absolutely not true for me. Last month felt like the best one so far.

But they also told me, that a lot of kids panic in the end, because they absolutely don't want to go home, which hurts their natural parents a lot (they even said, that I should better not tell them). But that mainly just starts about 3 weeks before the departure.

I don't want to spend my last months here, worrying how to stop the time. I just try to enjoy it as much as possible, but still ... there is this mean little thought in the back of my mind, that I'll have to leave too soon.